PAGE ABOUT MY GOLDEN GUARD OC (FROM HIT SHOW THE OWL HOUSE)!!!! and also Rue!!! an owl palisman who is incredibly important to me and also the Plot.

I ALSO HAVE SOME PAGES FOR.. the many aus I have

THE OWL HOUSE LORE IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH!!! (click on this line!) (it. expands)

The Owl House is set in the demon realm, a magical dimension that exists alongside the human one. In the demon realm there are these creatures called palismen which are basically witch familiars and this is very important as both of my birds are at least partly one of these.

The boiling isles is ruled by Emperor Belos!!! who is actually secretly a centuries old, sustaining himself by Eating Palismen, human who wants to kill everyone there (he's a witch hunter) He's also been creating clones of his dead brother (WHO HE MURDERED) and killing them one at a time, over and over and over again when they betray him. These clones (grimwalkers) usually act as the golden guard, which is like the emperor's right hand. AND THIS IS WHAT PERIL IS!!!! so as you can see. shes off to a Great Start.

SUMMARY OVER! if you havent't seen the show and are here for some reason you Will Still get lost i fear. But peril is way back from canon so the only Big Character to know about is Belos.

MAIN BACKSTORY!!!

CW: abuse, dehumanisation, manipulation, she's a bit suicidal, drowning (execution), palisman death, dissociation

Peril is a grimwalker from before canon, although the kingdom has been established. Because she's one of the earlier grimwalkers, the balance of the wild magic is off and she turned out a lot more creature-like (hence her bird traits) and also has the ability to turn into a palisman (a gyrfalcon to be exact) Because of this, she acts as the golden guard half the time and also as belos' palisman (hes not openly hunting them yet so it helps him fit in better). She also knows that she's a grimwalker from the start.

In her palisman form she acts as the emperor's eyes, doing a lot of intimidating people and gathering infomation, delivering messages. As the golden guard, she spends a lot of her time dealing with rebel activity. assasinations and such. as well as gathering palisman and general golden guard stuff. I talk more about this somewhere below. Neither of her forms are very well liked.

At somepoint in time Peril arrests a palisman carver for some reason or other, and a bunch of unawakened ones get seized by the Emperor's Coven. Belos gets a hold of the carvings and decides to see if he can wake the palisman up himself, as having a more reliable source of them would be very helpful. As he has to eat them to Survive. However, just having carvings isn't enough, you need to put hope and dreams and love and care and actually want a palisman to have it wake up. And there's no way he's doing that. He hates them

And so similar to how he forced glyph magic out of the Titan, he tries using glyphs to artificially wake them instead. This works eventually!!! However due to the artifcial magic he ends up creating an Extrememely Strong bond between him and the newly awakened palisman (Rue!) which painfully tangles their minds together in a way that even a normal palisman's and witch's would never be.

Feeling feelings that are definately not his own, Belos panics that he's infected his soul, that the palisman had taken away part of him, and immediately wants to reverse it however for fear of damaging himself further he decides not to break Rue (the owl palisman) immediately and gets Peril to lock her up until he finds out a way to 'get his soul back' before he disposes of her. She's kept near the grimwalker labs as it is very secure (which is hidden in the castle at this time and a place Peril knows well).

So Rue is alive but everything feels wrong. It feels like she isn't supposed to be, like a part of her is missing. She's forcibly connected to a man she can immediately tell very much Does Not want her. Belos is angry and rue is scared which makes belos scared and rue angry and their emotions are like an endless feedback loop, until Rue starts to block things out and make herself as small as possible in his mind.

VERY IMPORTANT side effect of horrible glyph magic tangling there minds together is she also has a cursed form which is like a mix between belos' and the owl beast. When one of them transforms it causes the other too as well, although split between them it makes it in general easier to control (another reason to keep rue alive) Rue has some awareness in her other form, it depends on belos (if he is more in control, she is less). Peril knows it happens but doesn't typically see it, as belos having a curse flareup whilst she's alone with rue is rare. It is however one of the reasons he stays away from rue as them seeing eachother can cause them both to spiral out of control very quickly.

At first Peril cautious of Rue, not only because of her link to Belos but because she has been taught that palismen are dangerous, that they don't have a soul. Belos is very paranoid but also doesn't want to be near the bird, so gets Peril to check on her occassionally. At first she only does as ordered, but as she starts to see how scared Rue is, how confused she is about her own existence (about Belos who dragged her into the world and immediately locked her away) she begins to visit more frequently as she starts to care about the wellbeing of this miserable little owl trapped in an empty cell.

Despite how terrible everything is, Rue gets so happy when she visits which Peril can't understand because literlaly nobody has ever been happy to see her. Rue has seen exactly Two People in her life.

Whilst this is happening, Peril starts to question her life more, and starts to hate belos a lot more too. She wants to set Rue free, to find a safe place for her to go, which is how she stumbles across rumors of the Bat Queen through clumsily talking to a few palismen and witches. This is how she meets Ace, a fox palismen who belonged to a previous golden guard, Hope.

For a while Belos was okay with letting Rue be the monster in his basement. However, as Peril and Rue grew closer, whilst usually Rue would try to stay as small and unobtrusive in Belos' mind as possible, having a friend made her start to have more of her own thoughts and feelings. She felt happy, angry, lonely and the more she became Herself, the harder it was for Rue to push the feelings away, to a point where Belos started to notice more often. This. is bad!! as whilst Belos knew a bit of what his grimwalker was up to, through his link he figures out just how frequently Peril has been visiting her and decides that Peril has been 'corrupted' by wild magic.

Despite this, Belos still trusts her. To his knowledge, Peril has been extremely loyal thus far (her palisman form also being very useful) and so to prove her loyalty, he orders her to kill Rue (by this point he had done some reseach into the subject and determined that killing Rue would not 'damage his soul' or whatever. She was a useful a parasite, nothing more). In all honesty, if he had been able to get near to Rue without the curse taking over, he likely would have done this himself when she started to get louder in his mind. However he can't, and so the job falls to Peril and also doubles as a test for her to regain his trust.

Peril can't do it and isntead takes it as a chance to do what she had been thinking about for a while, taking Rue and fleeing the coven. THEY'RE FREE!! and neither of them know what to do next

Despite the circumstances, it's nice. Rue get's to see the world for the first time, not just fragments through Belos' mind. Peril mostly retreats to her bird form, only transforming when neccessary.

However, despite their growing distance from him, Rues curse only gets worse (belos is not!! happy!!). Belos, so used to ignoring Rue's feelings does Not Know how to read Rue like she does him, but they still do both start to pick up more from eachother. He puts a bounty on both of their heads. Whilst rue did turn out to be useful, she's unpredictale and not an experiment he'd ever like to repeat.

Eventually, Rue ends up accidently injuring Peril and panics, taking her to the Bat Queen for help (Peril is unhappy about this, however she had been meaning to visit anyway to see if the Bat Queen could help with the curse). The Bat Queen, whilst not having any solutions to the curse, accepts them (although under the impression that Peril was just the emperors runaway palisman. and not. the golden guard who has murdered hundreds of their kind!!)

Because of Rue's curse (which. if it flared up near the other palisman would be Really Bad) they don't quite end up staying with the Bat Queen, but frequent the area under her protection when things get dangerous, or Peril wants somewhere safe to leave her sister, whilst she gets partly involved with a few rebel movements (once again. complicated as she'd killed some of their members in the past!!) Whilst her wanting belos dead is one of the reasons she does this, more than aid the rebellion, she is more looking for a way to break rue's curse, a goal that since fleeing the coven she ends up throwing all of herself into because she doens't know how to exist without a purpose.

Rue does not like being left behind. Her biggest fear is Peril abandoning her, she wants to help. She doesn't feel like a normal palisman, she feels like a monster, and cannot connect with the others. Because of this, more often than not she tries to follow Peril and help, which goes Bad.

At some point whilst Rue is alone, she ends up getting tailed and found. (Belos can't see her Memories as such, but when she's especially emotional he can get vague fragments form her and so had figured out that they were taking shelter with the Bat Queen). Cornered, she ends up panic transforming in the fight, killing a squadron of coven scouts and probably eats a bunch of palisman from Bat Queen's sanctuary, before dying to her injuries (maybe maybe bat queen kills her) for Peril to find her. um. yay!!!! (small little owl surrounded by many corpses...)

Through this, the bat queen discovers that peril was also the golden guard and thinking that peril betrayed them (and also rue eating everyone), casts her out.

Peril. doesn't know what to do anymore. wanting to watch Belos Die is the only thing thats keeping her going at this point. (she's actually terrified to see belos again but if she stops to think about that or what happened to rue, if she lets go of the anger fueling her even slightly, she's scared she might break forever.) She knows if she goes back she's likely going to die, but she returns to him anyway.

IM STILL THINKING ABOUT. EXACTLY,, what she does after this. and How she plans to get him. but eventually belos ends up catching her.

Belos drowns her (witch trial style!) He has her wear her golden guard uniform, with her wings bound (although she would have tried to fight back against this, probably tries bite and scratch him, which would further fuel his view of seeing he as something that has been turned feral by wild magic). Her witch form sinks and as she's drowning she panic tranforms, desperate to fly away, and her palisman form turns to wood and floats to the surface. I talk about this more below, but belos saw her two forms as differnet creatures. so the golden guard sinking (symbolising her as not a witch, pure) whilst her palisman form floats to the surface (rejected by god, guilty, a witch). Which fits very well into how he saw her! (liking her witch form, hating her palisman one). and in some horrible way he probably thinks he's like... freed her from like. the horrible sinful evil thing inside of her. YAY1!!!!

When her wooden form floats to the surface, he takes her and hangs her on his wall for future golden guards to see

AND THATS MY DAUGHTER EVERYPONY!!! her backstory changes so often this gets updated like every week!!! if none of that made sense here are two helpful diamgrams that sum it up quicker!!!

A little bit on palismen in this au!!

Palismen sense emotion and intent (strongest from their witches but from others too!) which help them understand speech. They talk using a mix of scattered words and feelings which witches only pick up if theyre bonded to them. When a witch and palisman are bonded together, they become very connected with eachother, sharing feelings and intentions. Despite this, bonds can be broken and a palisman and a witch can drift apart over time.

Peril cannot pick up emotions and intentions of witches as easily as a normal palisman, but she does subconsciously do it (even if she doesnt notice this ability herself) This is one of the reasons she's so good at reading people and allowed her to more easily see through Belos.

With palismen, she is able to understand them and pick up on any feelings they choose to show her. This is very fun when she has to watch belos eat them!!!! Similarly, in their wooden forms, she's can get vague feelings from them, but its a lot more muted. This stacks up when she walks into palismen storage and theres like 50 dormant terrified palismen

Peril is able to talk as a palisman but doesn't really know how to project her feelings on purpose (until rue she didnt really have anyone she could talk to as a falcon. even if belos wanted her to talk, he certainly can't understand her).

Despite her bond with palismen, it doesn't mean Peril likes them. In all honesty, they scare her, less because of wild magic, more because of the whole. emotions and abstract feelings thing. Its very easy for them to see through her and Thats Scary!! Especially for someone who has built up of so many half lies and layers of anger.

Palismen see peril as being very odd. shes one of them but something feels strange about both her (and not just the shame, guilt and burning anger following her around) Likewise, no matter how much peril wants to fit in with them, she's not quite a palismen. and they struggle to understand her, even after she defects.

Another thing I think happens is that, because Peril can understand palismen, belos tries to get her to interogate the ones she takes of wild witches and criminals. You know, before he eats them. This is largely unsucessful. Sure Peril can understand them, but its not that easily communicatable, escpecially when the palismen are very lost, very scared and mourning their witches. Some might say words, but a lot of it is just feelings and stuff. Very desperate feelings directed at her because they can't understand why she'd be working with Him, she's one of them. She hardly gets anything useful and it makes her Feel Very Bad. This also kind of reinforces Belos' views that palismen are very simple creatures, no souls there. They're made of magic so he'd still think this either way (like how he justifies Killing All Witches) but its an easy way to justify. Eating Them. And this also leads him into creating Rue. Which he very qucikly regrets.

Rue the owl house!!!

RUE THE OWL HOUSE. Okay important thing to know about Rue is she isn't just like Peril's pet, she's family. Peril is older to the point that she's more like Rue's parent, but Peril does not like thinking about it that way, and they were both created by Belos so. Sisters. This is more to do with modern au, but their relationship is a mirror of phillip and caleb and this makes me ill.

Rue's whole thing with Belos is that she was bound to him artifically and he wants her dead and they have nothing in common and its kind of miserable. She knows that she was Made to love him. But he hates her and for so long all she could do was sit in her tiny cage and think about what she could possibly have done to make him accept her. But also she doesn't want him too, because she can Feel how he makes Peril feel and she doesn't want to be anything like him.We know very little about this but Rue is kind of how I imagine Phillip was as a child and. I will yap about this in more detail in modern au section.

Rue is one of the very few people that isn't scared of peril, which is very confusing to peril who sees herself as the Second Worst person alive. Rue knows this and always tries her very best to make peril happy. She ties a lot of her selfworth to her ability to make Peril happy (its not like she can make belos happy). She likes it when her sister is happy, peril being happy makes her feel happy (quite literally the emotions bounce back to her) which is very rare in the days when she was trapped in a cage for months.

When she was imprisoned she tried to be as quiet as possible to stay out of Belos' way (in his mind), but once she meets peril (has somone to talk to, something to do) she gets much more expressive. This is how Belos found out that peril was spending time with her, because he got like. secondhand feelings about peril's palsiman form from her or something)

AFTER THEY LEAVE she is still completely silent but happily communicates non-verbally with peril (they don't really talk with words they just kind of stare at eachother. its kind of off putting honestly). SO YAY rue is expressive and very curious about everything on account of the fact that most of what she knew about the world was through flashes in Belos' mind (a man who Very Much Hated the boiling isles!), and its facinating how differnt everything is from her perspective.

Rue struggles a lot with her sense of self, worrying how much of her is Belos and how much of her is Rue. Because Rue is litterally connected to Belos' Brain she Knows Things about Peril, about how Belos feels about. Much of it struggles to make sense of, but part of her is scared that Peril will find out that part of Rue is like Belos and hate her and leave her forever. And she doesn't like that!! So now she's free she actually retaliates and pushes Belos' feelings out the way (tries very hard to project worms into his mind (thats not how it works)). She gets more stubborn around peril too. Peril can usually very easily intimidate people into doing what she wants (intentionally or Not. which. Not. as she is actually very afraid of scaring Rue) but this does not work at all with Rue.

Peril leaving is her biggest fear. She's bad at interacting with other palisman, feels different and unbalanced compared to them, and also doesn't want to be around the much on the account that she could turn into a giant monster and eat them. She does her best to keep up with peril she's. just a little bit clingy (and equally peril gets anxious when she's out of sight).

Rue wants to be strong like Peril, so that she can help her, yes, but also out of fear of being left behind. She gets tired very easily and is quite weak in her bird form but horrifyingly strong in her cursed one. She is very Powder arcane coded to me btw.

She also copies Peril in other ways, and unintentionly picked up quite a lot of Peril's mannerisms (which peril isn't a fan of). She's very quiet, but not afraid of violence. Between Peril and Belos, Rue has been pretty desensitised most things ever. She doens't want to hurt people, but she is so less bothered about it compared to not wanting to hurt Peril.

The word Rue means bitter regret and a wish for something to undone. WHICH IS KIND OF MESSED UP. CONSIDERING HER LIFE. Belos wouldn't have named her, and Peril wouldn't have either, or at least not that. I think she overhead Belos saying the word in passing (something something about how he "rues the fact he created such a creature") and then rue named herself that.

Okay I need to talk a bit about how Peril feels Rue. (aside from the. horrible guilt she feels about Rue's existence in the first place, arresting her original carver and then leaving her caged for months). It's much more dull than Rue's and belos' perception of eachother's feelings (because artificial bond) but peril can still feel rue who is small and scared which makes peril feel small and scared because she looks at rue and she sees a messed up really pathetic version of herself, a caged bird made by belos who can't do anything but wait to die. Being around rue is painful.

One of the reasons getting closer to Rue was so difficult for her, was because Peril didn't want to acknowledge that palisman were alive, that their feelings were real. They were supposed to be soulless like belos said (she's been treated so badly, taught to think so lowly of her other form, it wasn't hard to do the same to others. MUCH MORE ON THIS LATER!!!!!) ..She knows really, she learns very fast that palismen are not unfeeling. But even so she doesn't want to acknowledge it and keeps her distance. But she couldn't do this with Rue. This is the first time peril has spent a long time around a palisman, who she previously saw as Not really being real and it makes her realise that she's real. That how belos treats her other form also isn't right.

Rue's cursed form, whilst she is desperately searching for a way to break it, is also quite reassuring for Peril. She's still scared of accidently hurting her (the blood of many many palisman and witches alike is on her hands) but it's kind of comforting that Rue could maul her to death.

I ACTUALLY wrote a oneshot that is about early rue and peril's releationship (it is a little outdated though because beast rue wasn't real yet)

Various rambly essays I have written about various parts of their characters

A look into belos' mind!!! yay!!

belos' goal with the grimwalkers was to create a brother who wouldn't abandon him, a brother who he could guide and save from the corruption of witches and demons who (in his eyes) killed the original. He was lonely and wanted to rewrite the story so that this time caleb was on his side, and they'd complete the goal they had as kids and eradicate witchkind together. But the grimwalkers are not caleb no matter how hard he tries to pretend. And even worse, when they learn of Belos' plans they betray him again and again. The more grimwalkers he kills, the easier it gets. He's bitter and angry, punishing the grimwalkers for caleb's supposed past sins. He starts to have fun manipulating them, killing them. Like witches, they're just empty vessels, shadows of caleb. They don't have a soul for him to save. As years pass, he starts to care for them more for what they represent, they're a reminder of why he's doing this, why the witches have to burn. They're not people to him, they're tools, a position that must be filled in his grand plan of eliminating witch kind. Willingly or not, caleb will help him destroy this evil.

AND THEN WE HAVE PERIL

When Peril first emerged belos was happy as although, yes, she had wings and talons, there were worse features a grimwalker could have (wings can be bound or cut, talons can be hidden. she could be fixed.(unlike another previous golden guard, shoutout magpie)) So in a moment of, maybe this is the one who will listen to me, tries carve her ears to look more human, the reverse of what he did to his own. He'd had very Bad luck with some of the previous grimwalkers and so I don't think he thought it through too well, he wanted some familiarity. The injury effects her vision, making one eye blurry.

However, this went wrong as peril panic tranformed part way (for the first time). And now belos has a bird for a brother instead. Part of him is tempted to write her off entirely, but he's in need of a right hand and the next grimwalker isn't ready yet.

So peril becomes his new golden guard. For a while, he forbids her from being in her palisman form, however this ends up making her very sick and so eventually he allows it and has her be his palisman as well. During this time Belos also ends up telling her she's a grimwalker, mostly for fun as he wasn't expecting her to last very long and was curious to see how she would react (although he spun it in, not a good way but, a less horrific one). Because of this, she knew she was likely on a bit of a timelimit.

After this, he gets very strict on any bird traits she displayed. If she's a witch, then she's a witch. And if she's a bird, then she's silent and still, a palisman and not a wild animal. If his brother can control the wild side of him, then maybe there's hope. He sees the two parts of her as seperate creatures and treats her differently depending on what form she's in, having her bind/hide her wings and tail in her witch form.

Belos quickly discovers her bird form (although he hates it) to be very useful, helping him blend in better and being a good way to intimidate and spy on traitors. To hunt palismen. Her bird form is very unique, and would be difficult to replicate in another grimwalker, therefore giving her more use.

Despite his initial hesitance, she ends up proving herself and becoming a very loyal and efficent golden guard. Belos only becomes more fond of her overtime, or at least when she's a witch anyway (her bird half he sort of likes. sometimes. he just kind of treats her like a wild animal he's tamed) and trusts her a fair amount, as she is tasked with partly growing the next grimwalker.

He's angry when he finds out that she'd been spending time with Rue, a rotten creature that would surely corrupt her, make her more wild animal than human. In a horrible way, when he kills her (drowns her) he thinks he's doing her a favour. Her witch form sinks and then her palisman form floats, he freed her from the wild twisted thing inside her. Or something. Yay!

SO LONG STORY SHORT. belos is fond of one part of her, whilst the other proves to be very useful to him. This completely messes up the way peril sees herself. She later really really hates that belos likes or cares about her in the slightest.

I actually have a belos pov early peril oneshot WHICH. NOT GOING TO LIE. its really evil. warnings for abuse and dehumanisation. but goes into some of this.

Peril (like belos) sees her two forms as seperate things. which isn't great! Not just because thats Bad for her mentally, but also because she has to shift between forms. Not shifting makes her feel awful, and causes her to have less control over her bird instincts (not great when you spend most of your time with belos). Early on, there was a time where he tried to forbid her from ever transforming entirely, which obviously backfired. She was blamed for this of course, she was the incompetent one, but belos gave her permission to transfrom between her forms again. This was also when he decided to have her serve as his fake palisman, after all if his grimwalker has to be a bird then he might as well make use of it.

Her lack of automony over being able to shift plays a large part in her anger issues because she just feels bad. all the time. Early on she hates her bird half, and later her witch half, on top of being trans, which also doesn't aid any of this because she refuses to switch forms and. yeah. it's not great. It would take a while to kill her, not shifting, but its a miserable horrible time.

On top of this, her bird traits and insticts are frequently used against her and she is very much taught to hate that part of herself. She knows she's a grimwalker, and sort of about caleb as sometimes belos mentions him, compares her to him. He gets angry if she ever brings up caleb herself though, so she doesn't and her knowledge is very limited. (I think belos likes having a grimwalker who Knows, peril is pretty silent unless spoken to so he just kind of monolouges to her sometimes.)

Belos tells her that she has bird traits because of calebs sinful corrupted soul (something he himself actually believes). and that she inherited that so there must be something Sinful in her too. meaning she has to work extra hard to make up for it. or something. However, as she starts to hate belos, she starts to hate herself as a witch instead.

Peril. Does Not. know how to live for herself.

True, she doesn't listen to many people. cant bring herself to care (other than Belos and sort of bat queen to a much lesser extend for rues sake) but she does not know what to do without a purpose. She lived for Belos, and when she couldn't do that anymore she lived for Rue. And then when Rue died. Well.

After rues death, she did want revenge (the part of her that still felt anything but hatred for belos crumbled along with her sister), but more than that she wanted a purpose again. If she stopped being angry, if she thought more about Rue's death, about how scared she actually was to face Belos again, she thought it would break her forever. So she turned her fear into anger and it consumed her so much that she was scared of what would happen to her if she stopped. Who she would be, what she would do.

THIS IS similar in straybirds (modern au i have written extensively about. in that. she lived for Belos, and then for her siblings and then when she felt they didn't need her anymore she just kinda. spiralled into a deep depression. YAY!!! it's okay cause then she gets better.)

Peril also does not see herself as a person, which does not help this. She's a witch, a palisman, a grimwalker (a brother) and her being seen as or physically being in any of these forms is for a purpose, not because she actually wants to be. She doesn't see her forms as part of her (doesnt even have a good sense of who she is really anyway) and so doesnt transform because she doesn't see the point if she doesn't have to. Which is very harmful to her health

FUN FACTS!!!

• She was created to be about 16 or 17 (this is around the age sb!peril runs away) and dies in her mid 20s.
  
  
• TRANSGENDER!!!!1!1!! She uses she/her pronouns but its hard to place exactly how she sees herself. She's a bird. Her idenity is not defined, like her form. She does not like being seen as a man though, especially when it relates to her being compared to caleb. Rue stole peril's pronouns. Nearly all my ocs are non-binary and these two are not an exception.
  
  
• She has a resting angry face. Part of this is because it just fits, but also birds of prey always look upset because of the shape of their faces and i think its funny if peril also looks pisssed off too. She is also very used to being Belos' eyes (more relevant in modern au) but she has a habit of staring at people because of this,
  
  
• SHE CAN'T SWIM. hates water. Her feathers soak up water like a sponge and it makes her feel trapped. She and Rue are also really claustrophobic not sure if I mentioned that. I THINK sb!peril would like the rain though, but she still can't swim and isn't the biggest water fan in general.
  
  
• She likes the dark. it makes her feel safe.
  
  
• SHE CANNOT FLY IN HER WITCH FORM!!! Which contributes to her hatred of her witch form later. Much of this is due to the horrible conditions she kept her wings in for most of her life (bound and never used. and not very well preened (she did have to look after them to some extent though, so that her wings in her palisman form are still usable)).

OTHER RELEVANT TOH OCS!!! (they don't belong to me)

HOPE THE OWL HOUSE

NICHOLAS is the grimwalker directly after Peril. He was very involved in very unethical basilisk experiments until he and all of his research burnt to death.

Peril (knowing about the grimwalkers) was there whilst he was still growing. She's not very talkative, but sometimes she said things to them, not sure whether to feel proud or hate them or pity them or wish they never exsisted at all.

Although they don't ever properly meet, they are alive at the same time, Nicholas becoming the new golden guard after Peril runs away. Peril feels a kind of distant pity towards them, but doesn't have the time or energy or even want to talk to him (she couldn't save Rue, why would this go any different? Besides she knows where his alligences lie, the things he will do. Telling him about Belos would get him killed, but killing Belos would actually help him. She needs to focus on that.)

CLOVER The basilisk nicholas was researching. CLOVER AND NICHOLAS MAKE ME. VERY. ILL BTW. you should read their toyhouses.

Peril was the one to capture Clover originally. Clover was fairly young when this happened and her (although not often) meetings with Peril made her suspect things about what was happening with the Golden Guards when she later met Nicholas.

Peril would not have been kind or merciful to Clover, early Peril despised her more wild traits and probably projected this onto Clover whilst later Peril would have pushed away her pity out of self-preservation for herself and Rue. She didn't have time to care. So yeah, Peril defiantely had a part in Clover's hatred towards Nicholas and the Golden Guards in general.

Peril also has a scar from when clover bit her once yay!!